The sweet taste of success!

As we move into the 2008 year, it will be essential to “kick it up a notch” in order to lead the change in your industry. Regardless of your "industry" you have competition. Your customers have so many choices and as soon as you think they are "YOUR" customers, you better stop and think again. In order to be the leader in your "neck of the woods", it is going to take dedication, renewed passion and a committed focus to leadership. Leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal. Leadership is certainly the ability to influence others. Put even more simply, the leader is the inspiration and director of the action. He or she is the person in the group that possesses the combination of personality and skills that makes others want to follow his or her direction. Your leadership will dictate the experience that your customer has and that will determine if they choose to “promote” your business and bring their dollars back to your window….or take them to the competitor down the street.

In business, leadership is welded to performance. Effective leaders are those who increase their bottom line by increasing their teams’ lives and performance as well as their professional performance. If you want to survive and ride the wave of change successfully, there is NO OTHER choice than to commit to being a leader and through example and raising the bar of expectations, increasing your teams’ performance.

I look forward to seeing you raise the bar of performance for yourself and your team in 2008. The taste of success is sweet (almost as sweet as Chocolate Lovers Trash…..a Bruster’s Real Ice Cream ROCKIN flavor) and it is worth every effort put forth in order to experience it.

How are you going to commit to "kicking it up a notch" in 2008? Remember, destiny is choice and not chance and YOU are the only one that controls it!!

Making a difference in your leadership influence

When I think of someone that has great influence and people skills I think of the award winning journalist, Wes Sarginson. (See picture of Wes and I at a recent event.) Wes has accomplished so much and yet he is the most down to earth person I know. When he is in a crowd, people are drawn to him and he has a way of making you feel like you are the only person on the planet when he is talking to you. His people skills have helped make him a great leader. People skills, you either have them or you don't. True - up to a point. Some leaders are great at getting from their people exactly what is vital and important and others, well, let's say, less so. Still, for all there is hope to make progress, by focusing on some key points to build leadership influence quickly and effectively, just by knowing how to handle your people better.

Here are the ten key areas you want to look at - in yourself...

Listen Well~It will come as no surprise, but the way you consciously, deeply listen to what others have to say to you is vital. Ask secondary questions. Be more interested in them than in yourself.

Recognize and Take Opportunities~Any and every interaction is an opportunity for this. Make the most of every chance you have for making a difference to someone. I realize that this is a cliché but, often times you only have one chance to interface with that person and your investment in them may be exactly what they need to develop to the next level. It also speaks volumes about your true intentions.

Build Positive Relationships~Whatever the stresses and strains you are under, take a deep breath when you are going to talk with someone. Your personal state makes a difference - and they notice. 'Respond' rather than 'react' - there's a difference.

Appreciate Others Efforts~People try hard to do their best. Start with that premise and you will be making a difference wherever you go. It's often not the girl-on-the-end-of-the-phone's fault - she's probably having a tough day herself. It's not the harassed shop assistant's fault. Seek to understand.

Say 'Thank You' Often, Easily, and Genuinely ~WOW!! This is one winning strategy. Try it the next time you are out and about. Try telling one of your team members thank you…just for being them and helping your organization become what it is today. Be prepared for them to light up like a pin ball machine…..and then they will give you the “what do you want…..” look! (By-the-way, it makes you feel great too!)

See Positives In Everyone~There are positives in everyone. It's not about them, it's about you. The most aggressive and challenging person has energy! There are true positives in everyone and as challenging as it may be, your task is to recognize and value that everyone has something to offer! The best leaders find it and leverage it - for everyones benefit.

Be Gentle To Your People~Courtesy, kindness, understanding - all words hardly befitting leading edge, tough & laser focused business leaders. Ah, but that's where you might be wrong. Business focus can be as sharp as you like, but that still means you treat people well. At the bottom of it all, they are human, just like you. They want acknowledgement, understanding and support. By supporting them when they need support, they will support you.

Be Generous With Others~In life there are many opportunities to give. Of time; of money; to things that need your support. Rarely will you be so short on resources that you can't afford to support, in some small way, someone else. The key to this is being organized enough to have margins in your life. Don’t live so close to the edge of your finances, your time or your energy that you will not be able to be generous with others when the time comes. When you have healthy margins, you can seize the opportunities when they come.

Accept Gratitude Back~ Treat inbound thanks and gratitude well! By taking these 'gifts' in a gracious, appreciative way, you build relationships. Many leaders have a difficult time accepting positive feedback. When you do not graciously accept it, the perception is that you are very ego driven. A true leader with a servant attitude is not ego driven (or at least they don’t let it show.) People feel good around you when you let them into your heart.

It is about you too! Don't forget you. Investing in yourself is the biggest investment you can make. Making a difference is about being accepting of yourself in all of the above. Take time to appreciate you and what you do - you are a truly great person. So accept it with good grace! Being outwardly self confident and transparent is even more attractive then having “run way model beauty.” People want to be around leaders that are energetic, confident and beautiful. It is contagious!

Successful leadership is truly about being able to influence others. Investing, developing and equipping your team is a great place to start. You can not focus on others, however, until you evaluate qualities in yourself first. You can not develop in others what you do not have. These ten easy steps will help increase your leadership influence and increase your business productivity. It takes time, courage and honesty to get focus on these because you have to honestly evaluate yourself and your behaviors. It is always easier to point the finger outward when things are not going right. Always remember, however, when you are pointing your finger at someone else, you have four fingers pointing back at you.

I received an email from Sarah, a former client, today. She wanted to tell me a gentleman, who had attended one of the training programs I presented to her organization, over two years prior, had died of lung cancer. She wanted to tell me about Jim’s passing, because my program had made an impact on him. Sarah also knew my memories of him would make me smile - they did.

I only worked with Jim and about 40 of his co-workers for two days, but I remember him clearly. He was a portly man, with a great smile, and a wonderful attitude about life. When he participated in my training program, he was one year away from retirement. However, unlike many other employees at that stage of employment, he still participated willingly in the training program. He wanted to learn whatever he could to become a better person, a better employee, and a better support to his customers. He was THE person in this particular training group who was the target of many jokes - and he loved every moment of it. Of course, because he was kind and supportive of what I was sharing with his group, there were good-natured cat-calls thrown his way including "Teacher's Pet." With each one, he'd just smile and laugh along. Whenever he could make someone else smile or laugh - a colleague or customer - to Jim, that was an opportunity not to be missed.

I thought I'd share Jim’s story with you in the hopes that you take a moment to ask yourself - How will my colleagues, employees, customers, vendors, and others remember me when I no longer work here? Will they remember me and smile? Will they consider the time they knew me to be of value to them? Will they remember something I taught them? Will they be inspired to do something I used to do? Will they help someone else because they remember how I helped them? OR, will they remember me, shake their heads, and forget me?

If we run through these self-reflection questions, we may become even better leaders. If my employees remember me and smile, they may have liked me as a person because they felt I liked THEM as people too. If they consider the time they worked with me as VALUABLE, I must have helped them to achieve something good or to improve in some way. If they remember something I TAUGHT them, I must have helped them grow as professionals and as people. If they aspire to emulate me, I must have been a solid ROLE MODEL for them. If they help someone else because I HELPED them, I must have 'been there for them' when they needed me. However, if they simply shake their heads and easily forget me, I didn't fulfill the true responsibilities of my job: I failed to lead people, I only managed resources.

Thanks Jim. You can still make me smile.

What’s your legacy?

No Crabs for ME!

This weekend, our family had the pleasure of spending a couple of days on the beach with our friends the Henderson’s. They are a very fun loving Christian family with two little girls that are the same age as our boys. The kids had a great time playing on the beach together. My favorite time on the beach is sunset. The colors are so vivid with unbelievable shades of color, blended perfectly with an artistic touch that is nothing short of magical. While walking with the kids on the beach one night we noticed that it looked like the sand was moving. As we peered closer, it was actually ghost crabs scurrying across the sand. They were busily working to excavate their homes in the sand and defend their territory to other crabs. We ran into the house to get flashlights and we went on an official crab hunt.

We enjoyed our crab hunts and the time spent with the Henderson’s. There are a few relationships that you have in life that you work hard at preserving. They not only are enjoyable, but they fill you up as well. If you are lucky, you find others that you are so connected with that they actually challenge and push you to grow and not be content with simply being “better.” They push you to be the “best.” The best in: your personal growth, in your spiritual relationships, in your family dynamics, and in your professional growth. They help to propel you to achieve your dreams and climb to extraordinary heights. The Henderson’s are one of the relationships in our life that help us strive to be the best.

From birth to adulthood we learn to become good citizens and well-adjusted adults in the world of work and life. Many people make this transformation relatively successfully and lead somewhat normal, happy lives. Some people make it to adulthood grumbling and blaming the world for all the "bad things" it brings their way. Others can't make the adjustment at all and wind up as less than productive members of society.

What I'll call the "normal" group - the one that achieves a somewhat happy existence - learns to live by a set of rules, norms, and expectations that often limit their growth, potential, and true greatness. They are typically content with mediocrity and if they can move from being “good” to being “better” they are satisfied. They most always surround themselves with other’s like them or potentially a little under their “perceived” performance level with the psychological interpretation that if you surround yourself with those that you perceive to be “under you”, the higher you stand (and the better you feel about yourself.)

A few members of this "normal" group discover something special about themselves, they make a choice to excel, and then take action to create the life of their dreams. They are willing to take informed risks and even though the unknown is scary, they will explore it to find the opportunity that quietly awaits there. They choose to find what their strengths are and they capitalize on those. They strive to be the best. They are not content with simply striving for “better.”

You see, the normal group wants its members to be just normal. By the way, work groups and some families act in the same manner. They discourage their members from getting ahead (of the other normal group members).

The Normal Group is what I will call “Crabby.”

If you've ever been crabbing, you've seen the "normal" group in action!

You catch crabs by inserting dead bait fish into a wire crab trap. You then lower it to the bottom of the bay. Crabs attach themselves to the meat and begin eating. You raise the meat and catch the crabs in a net. Then you throw the crabs into a bucket to keep them from running around the boat and pinching people.

Watch the crabs and you will see that as soon as one crab tries to escape the bucket by climbing out, the other crabs will pull it back down into the bucket. There's no escape from the bucket. Life is often like that. A person wants to get ahead and knows that there is more to work and life than what they are presently experiencing.

It is time for you to get out of the bucket!

It takes personal leadership to become aware that escaping the normal is possible. It takes personal leadership to choose and commit to creating the best life that you can. It takes personal leadership to take the actions necessary to propel yourself and create the new future you imagine and want. Part of escaping the normal is also choosing to surround yourself with others like the Henderson’s that will push you to be the best. The other part is investing in others to help them grow and get out of the bucket as well. By helping other’s stand tall and strong, it actually enhances your success.

You can do it. . . All things are possible. Don't let the other crabs in your life prevent you from developing your unique potential and discovering your greatness.

Friends Helping Friends Picture

Thought you would enjoy a picture of the girls that are "driving" the Friends Helping Friends project this year. Erin Streeter (bottom left) and Terry Milling (above her) are the founding members of this project. They decided to extend their hearts and include Arianna (next to me) and Faith (below her). It is amazing to watch the girls create a movement within the community! I appreciate them sharing their lives with us, it is not an easy thing to do when you are facing such adversity. I learn something new every time I am around them. Consciously developing and investing in others is so critical at any stage. I am watching these young girls learn the principles of investing in others and as they are doing so, they are getting stronger, despite all of the illness that surrounds their life. Every life they touch, is richer because of it! Check out their website at http://www.fhfproject.com. For a listing of events coming up go to http://www.brusters.com/mcdonough

Rock on GIRLS! I love you! Christina

Benefit Concert

I wanted to share an incredible experience with you. I have started a not for profit organization called, “Friends Helping Friends.” It is an organization that raises awareness of childhood cancer and raises money for children that are experiencing cancer that live in our community. This is an incredible organization, but that is not the incredible part that I wanted to share with you.

The leadership team that is leading our franchise are the incredible ones! They have given so much of their time and talent to ensure that the children of “Friends Helping Friends” have the support that they need. They have attracted so much community attention that other businesses approached us and wanted us to help them with a benefit concert for FHF. The team decided that they would take the initiative to make it happen, and I had the pleasure of watching from afar as they stepped forward and lead other business owners. Led them to get involved with a community cause as well as teaching them about cause marketing. Due to their leadership and their willingness to step forward for a cause, many different events are being held for the FHF project: A bike ride with over 150 people, golf tournaments and other fundraisers. Through their leadership they are creating a movement within our community. Maybe one day, a movement nationwide!

The old adage, You're only as strong as the people around you is true. Yet so many of us in management tend to forget it, and in doing so we weaken our own management and leadership power bases.

Many of us fall into the trap of hoarding power, even when we don't think we are. We hoard our power by limiting the information we share. We hoard our power by not delegating the authority, as well as the responsibility, for projects. We hoard our power by interacting with only a select group of key employees.

The problem with hoarding power is that one person can effectively control just so much power. There's a point at which one person can focus and manage effectively. This point, once reached, will then limit how much and how effectively the organization will grow and operate. This point, once reached, also marks the limit of our management and leadership power. If I had not given the power, the authority or the responsibility to my leadership team, they would have never been able to inspire an entire community. The effect of FHF would be limited and a nation wide program would not be a reality.

To ensure your ability and your limits for management effectiveness and power continue to grow - give some of your power away. What! Give away a limited resource! Are you nuts? Maybe. But give power to those around you and you'll see your organization surpass its former limitations.

Share the appropriate information with the appropriate personnel so they can learn and take on additional responsibilities. Delegate the authority as well as the responsibility for projects to give others opportunities to learn and to experience the true highs and lows of project management. Give power to those outside your normal select group to identify prospective new key players. Give others the opportunities to become powerful in their own rights. The stronger they become; the stronger you become.

Empower your people. Leverage your power. Grow a powerful organization.

Relationships~Investing in others is essential

In your business relationships and in life, failing to consciously develop and invest in others, causes erosion of trust and belief in you and all you stand for. When compared to all of the worries and tasks that we have for ourselves, investing in others may seem like a minor task on our to-do list for the day. Even though we may categorize this as a “little thing” in the grand scheme of life, we must remember that the little things add up to a lot for our people. And that affects you and in the end, your business and life success.

Investing in others is very important to me, and I try hard to 'do unto others as I would wish them do unto me'. It hasn't always worked that way for me though. There have been times in my previous career - times that I can remember vividly even now - when promises were not kept, decisions were made that negatively affected me and yet positively benefited the decision maker, and where I was not on the best end of the wheeling and dealing that are part of corporate politics.

For me, creating honorable relationships that truly connect with my people has always been important. It is a two-way street. Recently I had a scare with a potential re-occurrence of breast cancer. I did not want to worry my team with it until I knew something for sure. I sent an email Sunday evening letting them know that I was going to take a couple of days off, but if they needed to contact me that they could reach me on my cell phone. No fan fare, no emotion, just a simple notice that was not a whole lot different than any other communication that I would have sent on an ordinary day.

Every member of my team felt the uneasiness and contacted me to ensure that I was ok or as one put it, “you freakishly fell off.” I was amazed at their level of connectedness to me as well as their concern. They were all on the edge of their seats until the tests came back….thank goodness they were negative. A couple even cried when the results came in.

The support and connection that they offered me at that time came from an environment of fairness, honesty and trust that had grown over time as well as from conscious efforts of investing in each other. They knew that if it had been them, I would have offered the same.

It was as if, as Steven Covey says, in 'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People', I had enough credit in my 'emotional bank account' to tide me over.

I'd never realized that I had that credit, but looking back, my standards and values were daily deposits, gained partly by investing in them and giving them a piece of me to help build them and their success. You get back what you give out. There's no better time to start than right now.

Why 97% of people will never win!

I went to visit a client today that requested I evaluate one of his franchisees. I have been working with this client on the “Good, Better, Best” leadership principles and they have been so helpful to him, that he wanted to see if I could meet with one of his most difficult franchisees and potentially light the fire within him as well. He prepped me about the nature and “heart” of this owner. He described him to be very adversarial, loud and verbally abusive. District Managers refused to work with him and my client was ready to ask him to sell. Upon arriving at the store, the owner briskly walked over to us before we could even shut the car doors. He stood in front of us with his arms firmly crossed and a furrowed brow. The first words out of his mouth were very pointed as he stated, “What are you going to tell me now?” He was as rigid as an ice sculpture. After some small talk, I decided to steer away from the business side of the discussion and started to ask about his family. It was as if this ice sculpture was placed directly on the equator as his defense armor melted when he started to talk about his young son. Before I knew it, this owner that had created such animosity had tears streaming down his face. He ran inside of the building and brought a picture to me. It was a picture of his son when he was about three years old. His son was pointing to a sign that read “Coming Soon” with one hand and thumbs up sign with his other hand. This owner started telling me the story of how he and his family had great dreams of this business making a better life for them and instead of that, his son now hated him. He hated him because his mom and dad chose to work the business more than they chose to spend time with him. It was not really the company or the district managers that he was reacting to. He did not have a bad nature or a tainted heart. He was simply experiencing the affects of his choices and his posturing of defense instead of choosing to make a change. With this attitude, he was sure not to achieve his dreams.

Look at the people around you. What do you see? Stress? Unhappiness? Boredom?

Most people will never escape what we call the 'rat race' to achieve any semblance of freedom in their lives for some very simple reasons. A basic fact of this game we call life is that you can't win simply by playing defense. This holds true for any game really. Most people are stuck defending a job they hate so they can make a mortgage or rent payment on a home they don't care for so they can keep their credit rating and avoid bankruptcy

When you look closely, most of the decisions an average person makes on a daily basis are simply defensive in nature. This is all fine and dandy as long as a person doesn't mind fighting their way through life. You can't win a game simply by playing defense.

So how can one 'win' this game we call life? Well, for starters, we can stop defending things in our current lives that we don't particularly care for in the first place. If you loathe your job why do you keep showing up? That car of yours is probably not one you particularly care for so why do you keep making the payments?

Assuredly you've got an answer such as "I have to keep working or else __________ will happen." That's called playing defense. Once again, this is fine if you're content to struggle through life without chance of winning, but I'm willing to bet that's not the case.

You see, the first key to success in life is to stop defending the things you do have that you didn't really want in the first place and, yes, this takes courage. Luckily there is no competition in life for people who show even the slightest amount of persistent courage.

Playing 'not to lose' simply affirms over and over that you already have what you want because after all you're defending it. So step 1 in achieving life success is to stop defending the things already in your life that you don't particularly care for. When you do this you'll have time to play offense for a change and finally have a chance of winning the game! Rest assured, with 97% of people out there stuck playing defense against each other even a small offensive effort on your part is likely to win you the game. There (still) is no competition for those who choose to play this game on purpose. Life is to short not to.

Just checking.......

OK, so I am a first time blogger. I am sure that the content will be random with hilarious side splitting moments as well as tear jerking and heart wrenching moments. Enjoy and check back often for another page in the journey of Christina Parker Live.

Always Your Cheerleader!

Christina

About Christina Parker

Christina Parker started her career of empowering and motivating others over 10 years ago when she started her training and consulting business, New Beginnings. She broadened her influence of empowerment when she accepted the position as the Senior Vice President of Bruster’s Real Ice Cream, a franchise that was voted in the top 500 franchises by Entrepreneurial Magazine. Christina’s mission is to utilize her strengths and talents to empower others’ through education, identification of opportunities, and advocacy. “When you are empowered, you truly start to control your destiny. Destiny is a matter of choice and not chance…” is a frequent statement heard from Christina as she is talking with her audiences. When it comes to real world experience and techniques that work, Christina is the premiere trendsetter.

Christina has a passion for empowering others so they can build resiliency, so that when adversities in life or business come, they are prepared to survive them. As parents of two young children, she and her husband experienced adversity first hand in 2003 when she was diagnosed with cancer. Her first experience with “the C word” was at 30 years old when her mother was diagnosed with cancer and passed away 4 months later. Within months of her mother’s death, Christina was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Relying on her own resiliency, when her first doctor told her she would not live, she hired a new set of doctors and went on to beat the odds. After many months of chemotherapy and 16 surgical procedures later she is here to share her motivational testimony. Through the experience of her cancer she teaches audiences to see that success is possible in their lives, despite any changes or circumstances they may be facing. Christina’s story of determination and unflinching courage has been featured in many publications and television as she shares her experience with others in an effort to help enhance their lives.

Christina has been chosen to speak to congress, sits as an active board member for the National Speakers Association as well as for a Cancer Services Organization. She is the original founder of “Taste for Terry”, an event that partners with Cure Childhood Cancer to raise funds for children with cancer and is an approved national speaker for the American Cancer Society. Ms. Parker has been published in over 40 health and educational journals and has produced over 30 training programs. Christina’s presentations are full of energy and combine pleasurable interaction with valuable information. Her passion for empowering others combined with practical solutions for life’s challenges make her one of the nation’s most sought after speakers.